Well...this is the first...

I just wanted to say...WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO MY BLOG!

Well...this is the first of many blog entries; and hopefully, I don't dissapoint. I wouldn't find myself dull, or overly loud, or a raving lunatic (to your joy, I presume). So, in other words, it should be safe to read this blog. Although, no craziness of the brain or imagination should be blamed on me.

Well, I would like to start off with a poem. That I wrote in dedication to my good friend Dainia...


The Guide
The anchor,
Keeping the vessel grounded.
The lighthouse,
Guiding the lowly fisherman back to shore when he was lost.
The sunshine,
Prodding the stormy clouds to part with golden fingers of warmth.
The angel,
Taking the sinner's shaking hand, and never letting go until the end of a wayward road.
The best friend.

So, yes, it's a little sloppy and overly-thankful...but, what-the-hey! I took a chance, and she seemed to like it alright. I thought it was a very clever metephorical poem, that's why I liked it so much. Helpful critisism is always appreciated.

Anyways, so a few things that you should know about me... starting with: I'm a very individual person. I don't like to be grouped and stuck with a label...although, it seems to happen to me a great deal. Also, I strongly promote creativity and expressivness. If you're having trouble coming out of your shell, talk to me for 5 minutes...I dare you! I'm also a little, wee bit outspoken, but not too much. I won't be like, "Girl...you did not just do that!"-outspoken, but more to the sound of, "Oh my heck! Why don't you just shoot me now?!"-outspoken. I enjoy sarcastic humor, more than jokes. And, I don't cuss...so don't even think about it here!

Well, now that you've probably had it up to your eyeballs in my immediate personality...(laughs) which I don't know if that's a good thing or not, I promise that if you'll get to know me, you will find a beautiful person. That's what I strive for, next to the success of my writing, to be understood. That sounds extremely cheesy, I know, but it's the truth.

Now, to my life...I live in a small town in Southern Utah, with my family of six: my dad, mom, three brothers; Keegan, Eli, and Keller, and then there's me...the only girl, and the oldest of 3 abnoxious brothers! Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers, but like all siblings there's some days when you want to sell them all to the gypsies! I have one really close friend named Stephanie, but many different aquaintences. School is, well, how great can it be when you're always scoffed at? Not great. But I suppose that's what comes with the territory of being different. HAHA.

This summer has been nothing but GO GO GO for weeks on end. What with the rehearsals, work, and constant social functions it has been sooo busy! When I finally get to breathe, it's such a relief! But, even when I'm alone, breathing is sometimes hard to come by. Oh, here I go into one of my poetic shpeals...haha. I don't know if any of you have ever felt that...you're perfectly content during the day. You get to see your friends, and the boy that you're growing to love and he is growing to love you too, and you're earning money, and performing onstage...and yet, you feel so empty. Because something is missing.

Even though I'm not breaking down, and I can smile genuinely....and I have everything I could need, and people who love me. Something just seems to be pulsing in my heart, and my head, and my whole soul to find it. I can't be whole without it! I don't know...(dramatic sigh)...I suppose it will find me on it's own. This summer is dedicated to the cleansing of my black soul. To wash out all the resentment, and pain, and love lost. Stitch my heart back together, and learn to trust again. If I can do just that...my life will be so much better.

Sorry about my little lament right there...this is what blogging is for, I suppose. Letting out your true feelings and baring them for all to see. I guess that's why this blog is called "A Writer Struggling for Happiness". Good title, eh?

Well...here I am. The teenage, lamentable, writer, freakish, crazy girl who blogs...So now you know. We might as well not hide anything from each other now!

Haha...just kidding! There are some things I'll never tell!


Quote of the Day: "Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die." ~Alaska, from Looking for Alaska by John Green